Hi homies. It is not fair that you don’t endure the same constant discomfort and limitations that I do as a result of living with my autoimmune disease Ankylosing Spondylitis. Nor is it fair that most of you have not endured the many tragedies, maladies and their aftermaths that I’ve had to overcome over much of my life. Nor is it fair that so many of you are happy and active while I often feel like a social outcast.
Therefore, in protest, I am going to block traffic both ways on NJ Interstate 287 today at 5:00 PM, so that you will finally understand what it is like to be me. Because let’s face it, it’s all about ME! My life matters! And in doing the math, yep, it really makes sense that if I meaningfully disrupt your lives for a few hours, you will finally understand, empathize, and sympathize with me, and you will feel compelled to spend your time and efforts trying to better my life.
Yes, that’s the ticket! All of you parents who will not get home in time to pick up your children from daycare. All of you care-givers who will not get to your nursing patients or your job at the hospital in time. All of you hard-working people on your way to interview for a job that you won’t get because you will be late. All of you people coming home from work because you’ve overcome your demons and obstacles, and you have chosen to fight rather than give up and blame everybody else. Yes, all of you! My lot in life is YOUR FAULT, and you should stop focusing on your own survival and do the politically correct thing; focus on me! Otherwise, you are a hater, you are selfish, and you are guilty. Yes, shutting your lives down for two hours will really win you over to my side.
By the way, to all of you good people on interstate 287 trying to live your lives of quiet desperation and conflict without pissing on others despite the daily adversities that we ALL face, I for one admire and respect you, and thank you. You know who you are; the ones that never appear on the nightly news; the ones that commit random acts of kindness that don’t make the headlines; the ones who sacrifice day-in and day-out for their children and families; the ones who tolerate that frickin’ commute on 287 day-after-day, year-after-year, going to a job where nobody thanks you and yet you’ve never shot up a movie theatre, or burned down a neighborhood, or blockaded a highway. Well here’s the headline, and it’s printed in black AND white. YOUR LIVES MATTER TOO!
In closing, if I ever really do try to stop traffic on any major interstate in a symbolic gesture that hurts innocents and helps no one, PLEASE…. I repeat, PLEASE… run me the fuck over! Peace, love, dove homies.