I’ve decided to announce my bid to run for president in 2020. My party is the Homie Party, and my message is “Common Sense and Decency”. In no particular order, I’ll be posting a blog every now and then outlining some laws I’d like to pass if elected.
1. The Federal Government will be reduced by the elimination of non-priority programs and policies. Highest priority will be given to:
• public health research and technology including cancer and autism research and cure,
• national defense and security,
• replenishment of funds “borrowed” from Social Security,
• non-government business start-up and job growth incentives, with emphasis on prohibiting monopolies,
• normalization of runaway education costs,
• common-sense banking regulations to prevent fraud and protect a fragile economy.
2. To earn the privilege to vote in America, a person must, in addition to being a documented legal citizen, meet any one of the following criteria:
• be at least 30 years old, or
• have worked the equivalent of a full-time job and paid taxes for at least 4 years cumulative, or
• be responsible for the support and well-being of a child or dependent loved one, or
• have served in the military, or
• have paid for their own college education and/or owe more than $50,000 in school loans, or
• be disabled.
3. Abuse of animals, including domestic, farm, research, zoo and wild, shall be a mandatory felony to be adjudicated by the states.
4. No resident of the United States, citizen or non-citizen, may acquire or hold more than 1 billion dollars in personal wealth. All excess must go to non-political charities specifically and measurably targeting hunger, poverty and/or genocidal oppression and ideologies. The crime for passively trying to buy an election, divide a nation, or promote racism and hate is treason.
5. Anyone found guilty of inciting or funding agitators to incite riots, violence, destruction, terrorism, or treason shall incur a felony prison sentence followed by exile out of America.
6. Free speech and protesting are protected and encouraged. HOWEVER, protestors who block highways, damage property, or hurt people shall be found guilty of a felony, which can be exonerated by contributing one-year of labor rebuilding and repairing the nation’s infrastructure. Housing and meals will be provided. The car that you’ve blocked could be trying to get to a hospital, or a job interview, or pick up a child waiting outside of their school.
7. A national pre-school early-education program will be developed and implemented with the states focusing on respect, kindness, tolerance, positive self-image and gracious social behavior. Specific to the curriculum will be anti-bullying. Self-defense martial arts, especially for women, will be mandatory in all early and high-school physical education classes.
8. While America will continue to open its arms to all nationalities, races and religions that enter our country through legal process, the practice of Sharia law with its barbaric treatment of women and intolerance to LBGTs will be illegal in ALL 50 states. Practitioners of Sharia law will be deported or exiled. Additionally, all categorization and statistics on race and religion will be eliminated from government forms and applications. Emphasis will instead be rechanneled to judging people by their behavior, ethics, and kindness.
9. Corporations will be incentivized with tax reductions to build and open Corporate Campuses in or near inner cities. In addition to providing paying jobs and benefits, these campuses will also provide busing where necessary to/from work, day-care for people who otherwise couldn’t afford it, modest albeit limited and temporary dormitory housing for homeless who need a second chance, on-campus job-training, and a clinic-like infirmary to address basic health issues in workers and children in the day-care, free of charge.
10. ALL prisoners incarcerated for non-violent offenses especially pot use and possession, some of whom are serving life sentences due to obsolete laws, shall be reassessed for immediate release as applicable.
Well, there’s my first ten policies recklessly dumped from top-of-mind to the written page. If you took the time to read them, I am graciously in your debt, for of the many things in life more precious than wealth, time ranks among the highest. Peace, love, dove homies.